Lonichiro Released From Championship Lagers

Superstar Slugger Lonichiro was released on waivers just before the start of Saturday's game at Ox Fest. Management for the Lagers would not elaborate beyond the managers curt phrase. "It was time for him to go." Some have speculated that Lonichiro spiraled into depression after the late inning grand slam that he gave up to his nemesis El Guapo that turned the tide for the upset in the day/night double header at the Friendly Confines. Others have suspected that his work with the throwing coach Chuck Knoblauch has been unsuccessful in stemming his abysmal showing in the Hot Box. Rumors are swirling that he was "moping around" complaining about how the other wifflers have been teasing him. His wife could not be reached for comment but his kids were overheard saying "What a wuss," and "He definitely needs to suck it up." Lonichiro was last seen wandering on the railroad tracks down in Middlebury, but rumor has it he will be up at the Friendly Confines for tomorrow night's game as a free agent. Perhaps he will find a team to pick up his contract, which now stands at an exorbitant $4.99 or a six-pack of Pabst Blue Ribbon tall-boys, or perhaps he will be sent down to the AAAAAA Waltham Wombats for a head check.