As karmic redemption goes...I am not an overly religious man though, at times, I can't help but see more than mere coincidence in certain events of life.  Long have I enjoyed the reverie of the LowBallers yet of late I must admit to troubled sleep.  

I have heard tell that the trophy, that Chalice of Chalices, is no longer of the integrity which all Wifflers witnessed throughout the day.  Mere hours after the Lager's laid victorious hands upon the Cup of Lord Wiffle its gleam began to fade.  The finely crafted new base, the foundation if you will, has come undone.  Lord Wiffle perhaps casts his thoughts of the Lager's initial scoring runs for us mere mortals to ponder?

Later, the Cup of Cups chanced to fall from its perch atop a car and the handle liberated itself from the bowl.  That small piece of metal by which one truly lays claim to that Goblet of Good Sportsmanship revolts at the Lager's touch.  Clearly Lord Wiffle is more than discontented with the outcome of the day.

How shall this mess be tidied?

Bris

Early this morning the rumblings started. The first photos from actual play were emerging in virtual print as I, celebrated wiffle columnist Hugh Wifflerton, started to dig into the most controversial play of the weekend's season finale. I had smelled something rank about it early on and it was not just the stench coming from a bunch of hung-over wifflers filled up with chili.

For those that were safely snuggled away during the wee hours of wiffle, the first grand argument of Wifftober III ignited on a pop fly in the initial inning of action. J-Mac, the infamous manager from the Summer Classic of 07, was at the plate facing a struggling Claudio Chinmusic Frank. The bases were juiced and the Loggers had managed to hang only one out on the board.

You live to see wiffle moments like this.

J-Mac sent a fly into the stands behind the home team's dug-out as the Musical Chin crashed through beermen and whiskey sellers alike. Miraculously Claud emerged soaked in beer but holding the ball.

2 down. Bases still loaded.

But no, suddenly the Lagers raised a fuss claiming that J-Mac had called for a tag. It all seemed dubious as the Loggers stood dumbfounded until the Scottish rookie showed his inexperience in the craft of arguing a wiffle call. The young Lucky Charms, the farthest Logger from the play, stated quietly, "Yeah, um, I think I heard it." What seemed to simply be a fine hustle play by the would be Wiffler of the Year, quickly escalated.

Knowing the impact of the situation, but not knowing much else, the Loggers launched into an argument of epic proportions led by their locker room leader, El Guapo.

It traversed all sections of the field and was so lengthy that the teams had to stagger their involvement to save their players for later loud philosophizing. Finally, in what was billed as a concession by the Lagers, the play was deemed a do-over.

J-Mac strolled to the plate appearing upset and drifted a 2 run double, the first runs of the game. The Lagers taunted the beatdown Loggers with chants of karmic redemption, but perhaps karma still has a little left.

The Lagers were quick to ink their version of the day with Lonichiro specifically writing about the "Beerman" call as follows:

These, and many other salient points were bandied about at top volume until it was decided that it would be ruled a do-over -- a first in Lowball history-- costing the Lagers a run and depriving them of what would have been another first for Lowball, the first legitimate use of the Tag Rule.

NOTE: regardless of how many times the tag rule is used, no one will ever remember the previous uses. proof

The Lagers would go on to win a crushing 17-7 battle fueled by stingy defense, solid batting, and ample pitching prowess.

But it was this moment that defined the day, that set the tone, that would haunt the Loggers for 20 innings, and now may just haunt the embattled Commissioner for the entire winter.

For it never should have been. It was neither legitimate as indicated by the victors (who typically write history, unless the losers control the website) nor a simple judgement call. It was as black and white as the Holsteins shown at nearby Addison County Field Days.

This investigation led me from the depths of the interweb all the way to the office of Major League Baseball and I am left questioning everything that I hold to be dear and true in this world.

To explain we begin our journey in the rules section of LowBall as follows -

SACRAFICE FLY RULE: With a runner on third base and less than two outs, the batting team may try and score the runner on third base on a fly ball. As soon as the ball is hit, the offensive team can yell, “TAG” to activate the runner. If the fielder must catch the ball, throw the ball home within 3 seconds, and hit the backstop with one bounce or in the air, to prevent the tagged runner from scoring. If the ball misses or does not reach the backstop within one hop, the runner on 3rd scores. If it hits the backstop; the runner is out at the plate. All other runners will remain where they were. Defense will make the decision if “TAG” wasn't yelled soon enough or not loud enough.

I went to this section hoping to find a definitive answer to where a ball must be to constitute a sac fly opportunity. I was left with no answer one way or the other. It is interesting to note that the Loggers may have had a chance to argue the amplitude of the call had young Charms not blurted out an approval.

I continued reading until I hit the last line in the LowBall rule book.

Rules not stated herein, will follow the rules in accordance with Major League Baseball

Luckily I know some people at the MLB office and quickly located the appropriate rule.
MLB rule book under Section 10.08(d) Sacrifice Runs:

(d) Score a sacrifice fly when, before two are out, the batter hits a ball in flight handled by an outfielder or an infielder running in the outfield in fair or foul territory that
(1) is caught, and a runner scores after the catch, or
(2) is dropped, and a runner scores, if in the scorer's judgment the runner could have scored after the catch had the fly been caught.
Official MLB Rules: 10.00 The Official Scorer

Clearly for a run to score on a sac fly, it must be an outfield hit and this was most certainly not.

Instead of being down 2 with a single out, Claudio should have been tied up with 2 away. The difference on the stat sheet is marginal, but the difference in a pitcher's psyche can be massive. The Chin Musician, regulated by the Socialist regime to pitch set innings (editor's note: this is Hugh's view and does not necessarily reflect that of the Bristol Tribune), went on to give up a total of 8 or so runs, dramatically different from his dominance of the season.

It is one thing to have calls go the wrong way based on a judgement call, like where the ball hits on the backstop, that happens all the time and is very much part of the game. Now when a play, a highly influential play, is called contradictory to the stated rules, this is a very different situation.

Obviously credit goes to an awfully stingy Lager defense and some very lively bats. However, what first appeared to be karmic redemption in their favor may come back to haunt them through the winter.

It is good they chose "real" champagne as their celebratory beverage and left the High Life to the Loggers to fully enjoy the bitter taste of defeat.

Hugh Wifflerton writes the award winning "Eye on the Wiffles" column for the Bristol Tribune, covering the ups and downs of the LowBall league.

Details are slim, but LMZ has secured the above photo showing Lord Wiffle's Chalice in an obvious state of dismay.  The wifflers were spotted leaving Dan's Place late on Saturday evening as patrons chanted and saluted the departing heroes.  This photo, taken outside of the HST venue, shows champion J-Mac holding the trophy as defeated Logger El Guap silently voices his disapproval.  The trophy was later spotted on the outskirts of Bristol missing its base and an handle.  

Destroyed Logger Hot Rod Beck was stopped in the Bristol bakery the following day and only said, "Where did all these yoga city folk come from?"  It is unclear if this has anything to do with the state of the chalice.

Representatives from the Lagers denied requests for comment.

LMZ is the Internet’s premiere address for wiffle news and gossip.

This is the PeaceMaker. It has served as my trusty wiffle bat for over 25 years.

We all lose pieces of our life along with bits of ourselves as we travel through time. Wiffle represents this for a good part of the population, both physically and emotionally. It is truly a kid's game and the vast majority left their childhood behind years ago, along with the bits and pieces.

For whatever reason, I held onto wiffle through-out the years. It is a place I can always go that is void of all the responsibility and stress of adulthood. It is a place where I am free to act like the wide-eyed energetic child deep within my soul. This beautiful piece of yellow plastic was born in what I consider the greatest era of wiffle bats. It is easily identified as an 80's vintage wiffle bat by the square block logo. The early edition bats of this vintage used more plastic for the barrel and thus created a stronger bat. The ball flies off of it with much more consistent power and the bat stands up to abuse and age much better.

It was during a trip home that I stumbled upon my faithful bat and resurrected into the LowBall league. We didn't name our wiffle bats back in the day. No we kept the names for the bats we carved out of fallen trees. I sat for hours, days carving until it was finally complete and the wood burning set would come out. If the bat was good enough, the simple word PeaceMaker would be branded into its mid section. The name PeaceMaker dates back to the single action Colt revolver favored by the lawmen of the Wild West, including one Wyatt Earp. And in this sense the name pays homage to two of my childhood passions, wiffle and Westerns. The bat currently sports a katana sword style grip. This is the second time she has been wrapped in such a manner, however this wrap uses hockey grip tape. Given its history and the unique handle, the bat is one of my prized possessions. Since resurrecting it, I have only swung one other bat and it was another find from my childhood. I only swung it during one at bat.

GapBridge Field

Lincoln, Vermont

October 03, 2009

Game starts @ HIGH NOON

RSVP PLEASE

LowBall doctors have been unusually tight lipped about the status of Hot Rod Beck following a late night trip to the ER.  Reports have been confirmed that he suffered a significant laceration to the ring finger of his pitching hand.  Confusion has swirled over the severity and the impact on his availability to throw in the big game fast approaching.  Word started to spread that Hot Rod was in Bristol, TN on Monday and would be ripping up the local speedway.  The LowBall snoops quickly ran off and arrived just in time to see HR claiming to have won the race.  Many questioned if any race had ever taken place.  However, HR can be seen in the above photo acting as if he did something of consequence.  The over the hill pitcher was asked a few timely questions as he departed.  When his ability to throw was questioned, all he said was, "I have a thumb and at least one finger, I don't see it as an issue."  

The LowBall rumor mill has been a buzz following the release of the above photo from the Bristol scouting network.  The spy was only able to snap one shot before a fierce guard dog ran him off of the property.  The photo, which appears quite ordinary to the average observer, shows a short cut on the field of play and an opaque pool strategically placed over the traditional pitcher's mound.  Other observers stated they saw the full ground's crew diligently raking the field and removing the excess trimmings.  

This fresh intel has led to vehement speculation around a possible upcoming game at the only downtown venue.  Hunter S. Thompson Memorial Greens (HST) opened its doors late in 2007 season.  With a 7 foot fence, distinctive paint, and themed games HST became a favorite stop on the LowBall circuit.  The field has played host to such classics as the original Wiffdependence Game, Wiffmorial day, Ich Bin Ein Wiffler, and of course two years of Wifftober championships.

Following last season's Wifftober classic, the owners of HST quickly turned their attention to field renovations to strike the pain of a dismal and stinging loss.  With the coveted Lord Wiffle's trophy residing in the hills of the rival Lincoln, the HST crew set out to ready the field for another fine season of wiffle with the goal of bringing the wiffle bat pillared trophy home.  Unfortunately the financial collaspe of 08 caught much of HST's investment in white plastic futures.  With no funds, the bare frame of the future clubhouse stood in solitude through the winter.  

As the new season approached word started to circulate that HST may not host wiffle at all.  The Commish graciously kept HST on the schedule and when things became dire turned to the newest field, Burnham Field, to fill the void.  As the season has wore on, fans have questioned whether or not HST was going to be ready for the Wifftober epic.  Owner HR Beck has been mostly silent only saying, "The trophy is coming home." when asked about the field.

Now it appears that HST will not only be ready for the big game but may play host to a regular season game or two.  More to come as information becomes available.

Lincoln- Having not yet been fully vetted by Widows of Wiffle (WOW) scheduling sub-committee, copies of the revised proposed 2009 LowBall schedule have been floated out to various media sources. The source of the leak was undisclosed in the media packages. However, a high ranking LowBall represenitive said to be "very close" to the decision making process spoke on the condition of anonymity stating, "I can't believe the Widows are going to have a problem with the new scheduling format and organization. I am confident that they will realize that the Scheduling Board really responded in a pro-active manner to the vast majority of concerns outlined in the WOW Report. I believe we will see it approved on a first vote, but don't quote me on that." The new schedule does, in fact, seem to represent a new age of wiffle, not only balancing the WOW interest, but also the Offspring Foundations demands to be constantly entertained. Widows of Wiffle will be reviewing the revised proposed schedule over the next week.

REVISED PROPOSED 2009 LOWBALL SEASON

June 05 Fri 5:00 Game #2, Guys Only Please- Ox Yard, Lagers Home

June 13 Sat 1:00 Game #3, Collective Child Observation, Lincoln Sports, Loggers Home

June 21 Sun 9:00 Game #4, GOP – GapBridge Field, Lagers Home

June 26 Fri 5:00 Game # 5, Burnam Feild, Loggers Home

July 05 Sun 2:00pm Game #6, Family – Burnam Feild, Lagers Home

July 12 Sun 4:00pm Holy MatriWiffle - Hopyard

July 19 Sun 9:00 Game #7, GOP, Sunday Bloody Sunday- Ox Yard , Loggers Home

July 24 Fri 5:00 Game # 8, CCO - HST, Lagers Home

July 29 Wed 5:00 Game # 9, GOP - Friendly Confines, Loggers Home

Aug 01 Mid-Summer Classic Tourney - Friendly Confines

Aug 09 Sun 9:00 Game #10, GOP - GapBridge Field, Lagers Home Aug 15 Sat 2:00 Game #11 - Family Road Trip to Hinsburg or Hopyard/ Ox Yard/Lincoln Sports, Loggers Home

Aug 23 Sun 2:00 Game #12, CCO - Hopyard/ Ox Yard/Lincoln Sports, Lagers Home

Aug (27-30)   TBA

Sept 04/05/06 OFF

Sept 12 Sat 3:00 Game #14, CCO - GapBridge Field, Lagers Home

Sept 20 Sun 2:00 Game #15, GOP - HST, Loggers Home

Sept 26 Sun 10:00 Game #16, GOP - GapBridge Field, Loggers Home

Oct 03 Sat 9:00/2:00 Wifftober Championship – GapBridge/HST