Finally, the stimulus dollars have found their way to LowBall.

Most observers missed the small earmark that Senator Sanders slyly added at the 11th hour. Deeply dismayed by the lack of activity on the LowBall site over the winter months and seeing the resultant depressed voters, Sanders schemed up a way to ensure that the site would be rejuvenated.

Like most aspects of the stimulus, this earmark has been slow to make it way to the end user. Finally, with Wiffdependence looming in the near future, word has come from the Treasury that indeed the earmark is available for immediate usage. Hot Rod Beck will benefit directly, receiving no less than 3 40 oz. of High Life per 4 hour timeframe to fuel the redesign of LowBall Wiffle.

In opposition to typical public reaction, the nation has embraced this earmark and eagerly awaits a happy fun new site for LowBallers to dispense ample amounts of BS to the interneting world.

Please help this cause by offering any site suggestions, like now.

Just a reminder...and in case we've missed anyone...

The Hopyard opens its doors on Saturday July 11, 2009 at 7pm in celebration of the Barlass / Frank wedding. Players and fans alike are welcome to roam the grounds until all hours of the night. Beverage and music provided. Rumor has it there may also be sparklers.

Matriwiffle to follow on Sunday for those of strong constitution. Current schedule shows a 4pm start, but I think we can manage it a bit earlier if participants are willing. I move for a 1:08p start.

claudio.

Burnnam Feild, Waltham< Vermont; Game time 5:17

Lincoln - The Ox returned to form this week, with solid pitching and a grand slam in a 11-8 effort by the Loggers over the home Lagers, who had hoped to extend their 2 game winning streak. Vetern Lagers pitcher t, formally known as T.(formally known as T. Trot Thompson III), threw a repeat of his 9 run 6th inning on opening day, with an 8 run 5th today, after giving up no runs in the 6 innings pitched in games 2 and 3.

The half inning featured Ox’s grand slam, as well as a 3 run shot from El Guapo. The Surgeon gave up only 1 run in 5 innings of pitching in the losing effort. Mental errors plagued the game, but were mixed with some spectacular plays. Each team brought up a player from their minor league systems to fill the Father’s Day roster vacancies, interestinglly, the two players were brothers. Wycoby Goosebury brought up from AAA Grandville for the Loggers, and “Little Papi” Goosebury up from AA Fayston for the Lagers. Each brother went 2 for 2, but also contributed to defensive miscues for both teams.

The game was start delayed for almost an hour, as the Grounds Crew prepped GapBridge Field for the scheduled game. At the scheduled 9:07 start time the commishioner was franticlly trying to cut the 8" turf with hand rake. The grounds crew showed up at 9:20. The treat of strike hangs heavy over the League as it continues to operate without a contract with the Ground Crew Union. The “I just couldn’t get to it” or “I forgot” excuses are wildly considered a tactic used by the Union to put pressure on LowBall management for a quick settlement, emulating those used by European transit unions for decades.

LowBall Commissioner, t, formally known as, T., formally known as T. Trot Thompson III, issued a statement Stating “We will not be held ransom by these savants. We have more intelligent means that can do the same work for free. A little poop beats dealing with these thieves. I believe the Union has failed to realize they can, in fact, be replaced by a untrained grazing animals”. The Union was unavailable for comment.

Once the Grounds keeping personnel arrived, they hastily trimmed the field to make it playable. Both teams are now 2-2.

Next weeks game is scheduled for Friday, June 26, 5:17, at Burnam, Field in Watham.

Lincoln-LowBall unveiled it’s second new venue in as many weeks as the Wifftober Champion Loggers held the Lagers to handful of hits and 2 runs, winning 11-2. The two teams resumed their Eastern League series in beautiful downtown Lincoln, for LowBaall's inaugural game at the historic Firehouse Yard.

Lonichiro broke open a tight game with a 6th inning grand slam off the hansom one, with the only deep ball of the day. Poor fielding by a clearly confused T. (player formally known as T. Trot Thompson III), gave the Lagers a 2 out opportunity in the sixth with bases loaded, which Lonichiro took advantage of to change the complexion of the ballgame.

The Loggers (2-1) fielded, The Sturgeon, Lonichiro, and the Unit, while the Lagers (1-2) started El Gupao, T., and the new juiced Wingman. Most all agreed the venue was better than they had imagined and looked forward to future events there. A few representatives from WOW (Widows of Wiffle) made brief appearances, but none of those there issued statements concerning LowBall’s playing at the historic ballpark or the status of the approving the revised proposed schedule.

The two teams meet again next Sunday, June 21, at GapBridge Field starting at 9:07 am SHARP.

It is not everyday that we get to inaugurate a new venue in the hallowed halls of Lincoln Old-School Wiffle. Many thought that five Wiffle venues spread across three towns were enough. (O.K only four active venues, Gap-Bridge, Hunter S. Thompson, the Friendly Confines, The lovely new Burnham field in Waltham - nicknamed the Ox Yard - and the now, sadly defunct, Twin Oaks) I, for one, still remember the ridicule and scorn heaped upon the wiffling world by a certain Lincoln writer, who shall not be named, in a Burlington Free Press article two years ago. I think Bojhalian (oops) is still in hiding after the commissioner issued a fatwa for his head on a platter. But I digress... It was with great pomp and circumstance that the expansion minded commissioner christened the newest venue in Lowball at the Lincoln Sports field. It was, no one should be surprised, an instant classic. Driven to solve the home field disadvantage conundrum, and with what undisclosed sources say was intense pressure from the WOW (Widows of Wiffle) lobby. The commissioner leapt into action fashioning the first portable field in Lowball history. Everyone agreed that for CCO (Collective Child Observation) games it was essential to establish a field in neutral territory. The benefits of the baseball diamond behind the fire house became immediately evident as pitchers began to toe the slab and bear down on hitters in what was an uncharacteristically low scoring game. Until the sixth inning that is. Tommy "Trot" Thompson increased his scoreless inning streak to six as his bounce back from his catastrophic ten run, five dinger inning begins to look more like an anomaly as it fades in the distance. He added to his impressive outing with two solid doubles and some other single base hits that show this veteran has come to play. Jon "Shoeless, West coast, Wingman, Howard" Howell (a.k.a. Wing sauce) continued his impressive season by throwing shut out ball and continuing to rap the ball soundly. The unit showed up for a few brief innings and managed to escape with only two walked in runs. Indeed it looked as if those unearned runs would be the only two in the game as The Surgeon and Lonichiro were shutting down the Loggers on the mound, but were not able to string together enough solid hitting to get anyone across the plate.
Then came the sixth. El Guapo, fueled by his smoldering rivalry with Lonichiro, called a conference on the mound, sending signals to his fielders about what was about to unfold. Unfortunately, unable to read his complex system of signals, his fielders missed some bleeders up the third base line, which coupled with a walk or two left the Handsome one in a bases loaded pickle. When El Guapo left one hanging right in the wheel house of the unpredictable Lonichiro, there was nothing he could do but watch it sail over the yellow tape. After the game El Guapo's translators seemed a little stymied about how to translate what he'd said to the media in a way that could be repeated on air saying only, "He said it was a good pitch, only except he hit it." The rivalry continues...
Kudos to the commissioner on an exceptional addition to the hallowed lowball tradition.

In echo of seasons past, the Commissioner of LowBall, T., has changed Sunday’s scheduled game due to undisclosed “scheduling irregularities”. The Loggers (1-1) will host the Lagers (1-1) SATURDAY @ 1:00 SHARP at the Lincoln Sports (firehouse) in yet another new LowBall venue.

Interim president of the Players Aassociation, Lonichiro, Had no comment except “Wow, WOW is going to have a field day with this.” T. was unavailable for comment.

Waltham - LowBall’s newest venue, Burnam Field, opened Friday night to great success as the Lagers used solid pitching to hand the Loggers their first loss of the year 7-4. The much anticipated opening showed off the new park’s big out field, 90 foot lines, 5 foot high fences, and pastoral views. The big proportions were highlighted by a stiff breeze blowing straight in from left field. El Guapo confidently predicted, through an interpreter, “ NO JUAN is hitting Juan out today.” As the outfield played in during the top of the first inning, Claudio shut up the Latin prophet with a 95 foot shot into the wind and into the high grass. Lonichiro add a contested call to left field field as well.

The field is the original site of the historic Ox Yard, where the Waltham Big Willys played during the 1950’s and 1960’s, and who brought Wifftober championships to the valley in 1959, 1962, and 1963. The field, which was been converted back to agriculture in 1972 when Clive Burnam returned from Vietnam with a new “interest” in farming, has undergone an extensive renovation by the new owners estimated more than sixty dollars.

The opening, and free beer, broght J-Mac out of retirement, who worked out of jambs to pitch 2 shutout innings, while Lonichiro continued to search for his early season control. The at Home Lagers featured the Ox, El Guapo, and T. (player formally known as T. Trot Thompson III) who allowed only single and a walk in 3 innings work. The Wifftober Champions Loggers brought to the field Claudio, Wingman, a returning J-Mac, and Lonichio, who gave up 6 runs in an inning’s work.

The planned WOW (Widows of Wiffle) protest and picketing of the game was cancelled because all the participants and speakers had to stay home with their children. The Player Association worked into early in the morning considering how to respond to the WOW demands. A spokesman for the players said no progress was made in the late night negotiations. Both team are now 1-1.

Lincoln - Wingman Howell soared on a gale force wind to tie a LowBall record considered untouchable, by homering 3 times in consecutive bats leading the Loggers to an opening day road victory over the Lagers, 18-16. In the bottome 3rd inning, with bases loaded and 1 out, the Lagers star Ox hit a fly to deep left center, as the ball left the bat he crying out "What ever it I am suppose to say to score", Lonichio looked confused after the catch gently tossing the ball back to the mound, and it was done. Tying the score at 1, Ox recorded the first sacrifice fly in LowBall history, breaking the game the game open and getting the new season off to a flying start, but the flying had only begun.

Veteran T. Trot Thompson III gave up 5 home runs in a nine run 4th in a game that the Lagers lead 7-1, including Wingman's 3 and back to back to back shots to start the inning. 30 mph winds or not, it is clear that the duel roles of a Player/Commissioner has taken it's toll on Trot. The game eventually yeilded 12 long balls, including a 130 foot (unofficial) blast by H.R. Beck that all agreed was the longest ever at GapBridge Field. Hot Rod also looked very sharp on the mound for the Lagers in the loss. Both teams showed both strong mid-season form and early season sloppiness on a beautiful but very windy day.

The 2008 Wifftober Champion Loggers fielded The Surgeon, Lonichiro, a returning J-Rod, New Dad Claudio, and the Wingman. The Lagers, 2008 Eastern League winners, fielded the same starting lineup that was humiliated in last year’s championship of Ox, Hot Rod, T.Trot, and The Unit as well as rookie Sean Noname, just brought up from Hubberton. The Lagers fought back from a 16-7 deficit in the 7th, bringing the tying run to the plate twice in the bottom of the 9th, but could not find the favorable breeze to blow for them and the Loggers prevailed in yet another LowBall classic, surly setting the stage for another year of LowBall classics in 2009.

The 2009 LowBall season officially begins this SUNDAY, May 31, at beautiful GapBridge Field in LINCOLN with the defending LowBall champions Loggers hosting last year's Eastern League pennant winning Lagers in a Wifftober repeat. The event is a FAMILY POTLUCK with the festivities beginning at NOON (rain or shine). Please bring the family and some FOOD to share. The Commissioner himself will man the GapGrill and provide a few pound of flesh and some cheap BEER. We hope to see lots of HAPPY faces.

Come help ring in the NEW AGE of WIFFLE.